Good Googlie Goo

Well, since my last topic covered the use of the word "butt" as a comedic element, I suppose I might as well go ahead and talk about breasts for just a second now and get that one out of the way too. Specifically, I'm going to talk about my wife's breasts. She's 7 months pregnant now (yes, I still have it) and I have to say, I'm becoming concerned. Let me start by saying that before her pregnancy (and in the interest of fair disclosure, yes I'm bragging here) my wife was a tall, beautiful, slender, nicely curved woman with very well shaped but more or less standard sized breasts. That (the breast part) has begun to change now, in the same way that Mt. Vesuvius underwent some slight changes around AD 79. Exactly.

By now you have a good idea of what I am talking about, and have built a little mental model in your head to visualize the degree of change I am talking about. This model is wrong. Oh, I know. You could be one of those people who is already prone to huge exaggerations in your mental modeling. If that's the case, then you're still wrong. Probably by at least a factor of three. The rest of you aren't even in the ball park. It's not your fault. Your working from preconceived notions based on past experience, when what I'm talking about here just has to be experienced to be understood. It's like the Aurora Borealis, only without the whole frozen Alaskan tundra thing. I've actually told my wife that if I detect any more growth in "the valley" I'm going to start running guided mule tours in there ala the Grand Canyon. We're going to need the money to buy new clothes for her.

Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I know that there are impoverished village women in Africa that would love to trade places with my wife. I've seen them on Discovery Channel, God help me, so I'm not complaining. I'm just putting this out there as an observation, without judgment. Things, they be a'changin.